Parents Working From Home: Myth #1

Working from home. It sounds ideal. No need to leave the house, no childcare costs, wearing whatever you want to work...the list is long. It's difficult to imagine there is a downside, but there is. With this series I hope to address some of the issues that create the 'down side' of being a work-from-home parent.

The Myth: If I'm working from home, I won't need childcare.

The Truth: Working from home is difficult with children at home with you. The kids need to be watched over, they need to be fed, they need interactive play, and they want their mom or dad to pay attention to them. If your job is flexible, you may find a workable solution by creating your work schedule and work times around your child's needs. This isn't the norm, however. Most people who work from home need to have time during 'office hours' for phone calls, meetings, conferences, and such. Some may be able to schedule meetings and calls for naptime.

Solution: If you can't manage a schedule geared toward your child's needs, consider hiring a sitter or a part-time childcare situation. It isn't easy, but with some creativity it may work. Others, with higher needs children, may need to keep their child in daycare in order to get anything done. Another option, of course, is to change jobs or positions so that work can be done early mornings or later evenings, and spend your days caring for and playing with your child.

The seriousness of this issue was brought home to me when a local man, a stay at home parent, was arrested for child abuse. I am not making light of the fact that this man's daughter had to be hospitalized due to his abuse, nor am I saying if he had childcare his daughter would be fine. However, working from home while caring for an infant or toddler often creates tension, and even anger. Putting the abuse issue aside, this type of situation isn't good for the child or the parent.

My hope is that, as more parents begin working from home, they are able to manage a schedule that allows for loving, peaceful, and playful times with their child as well as quiet work periods.

Family Fun!

With summer here, the time for family fun is upon us! It's so easy to spend the weekend working at home or relaxing in front of the television. And you can choose to do that. However, if you want to have some fun with your family, try some of the following:

1. Board Games: There are plenty of games in ranges that can include older preschoolers, and if not, make up some new rules! In fact, our son often suggests new rules when parts of games are missing. Or teach them card games like 'slap jack'.

2. Have a picnic: We do this when Our little one is restless. For him we can have a picnic in the back yard and he'll be satisfied. A trip to a local park can also be a chance to have fun and share a picnic. We've even had picnics inside when it rains.

3. Have a water fight: To make it fair, only the adults are allowed to man the hose and faucets. And if there are a lot of kids, play water-laser tag. Tape three strips of crepe paper (white-other colors will stain clothes) or toilet paper to everyone's back. Instead of aiming for the face, kids aim at one another's backs, trying to soak the strip off everyone else's back. This can also be played in teams, which is much more fun for older kids; one both teams scramble and then search the area for hidden 'enemies'. The winner is the one who has their strip left.

4. Take nature walks: Walking in your own neighborhood or in the park nearby often leads to surprises. Take some time to gather some of the bits of found items...pieces of material, twigs, moss, stones. These can all be used to make crafts later. One fun one is to braid heavier thread/ribbon/hemp and braid in pieces from the nature walk, pieces of old jewelery, or other found items into the memory string. We got this idea from tying a string around your finger to help you remember. These are put up wherever we want. Our son likes his on the wall by his door. They're a visual memory of what we've done.

5. Blow bubbles: It simple, yet effective. Kids love bubbles. Have the younger siblings try to 'catch' the bubbles.

6. Have a treasure hunt: Whether you want to send the kids on an impromptu hunt for treasure (everyone look for a stone with no rough edges), or you can have lists prepared for several teams (or even one, really) to find and bring back. (pair youngers with olders, or have youngers do a sandbox treasure hunt. (We use large colored 'coins' or large rings (big enough to not choke).

7. Make a treasure map: See where this can take you!

8. Take part in a new kind of treasure hunt: There are locations local and across the country, so whether you're planning to take a trip out of town or out of the city. Log on and find out what to do. It's real fun, and everyone can take part in this. http://www.atlasquest.com/

I am sitting inside my home with the windows closed because of nearby pesticide spraying, and I hear the rain and wind outside, battering the house, the grass, the garden...and the wind-chimes.

I an energized and invigorated as the storm continues on its way, thunder and lightening punctuating every sentence. I remember playing in the rain storms, jumping in puddles and standing on the porch when the lightening and thunder arrived.

It's my Dad, I remember most, calling us outside to watch the lightening and see the sky when one or another amazing view presented itself. I remember, too, those nights after the rains, outside with flashlights to gather nightcrawlers. It was a wonderful ritual to share, one I didn't appreciate as much as I do now. I don't remember fishing the next day, and there are times I'm sure my father put the nightcrawlers back into the garden because he worked the next morning. With my mother I watched the meteors, rode snomobiles, and saw her come alive in nature during those times. I miss those days, the times we''ll only share in our memories now and then.

Those are the kinds of rituals that happen, and offer fond memories. And I think about our rituals, and how some were passed down. I call the kids out no matter the time, to see the aurora borealis or to enjoy the meteor showers. We garden together like my mother and I did, and I encourage the neighborhood kids to share our back yard and the garden. I watch my husband share stories and play with the kids and listen to the teenagers, and I hope we're building the kinds of memories that we both carry from our past.

My hope for everyone today is to look at the rituals of your life. Which do you share with your children? Is there something more you want to share with your children? Your partner? Anyone? If so, start today. There's something satisfying in knowing we're creating future happy memories.

Kim